Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
