I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
