She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
