so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
These tits shall not be calmed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
