yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
