ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
