You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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