My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize