Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
