I looked at my own cervix.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
