I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
