I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize