oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
