I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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