going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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