Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
