Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Boobs speak an international language.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
