so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
