I hope mine doesn't look like that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
