This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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