are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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