Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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