The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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