How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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