dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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