He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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