I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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