i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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