Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
