The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
