Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
