also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
