He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
