i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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