he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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