I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize