My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fuck appropriateness.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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