I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
