Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That's intense
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
