Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
