he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
