sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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