last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
