the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
