you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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