You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
