i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I still have a little drunk in my system
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
