I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
