so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
