She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
