The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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