Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
