Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
