I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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