Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
