I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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