in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
