I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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