Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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