think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
