i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
