sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
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I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
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She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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