your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
