If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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