you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
